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T'Aad man uv Burnhop
Mebby ye dunno ken aboot t'Aad Man o Burnop, for he's bin deed this monny a yeear. He waas a lish an chap wuv, a girt wheyte beard, bud his heed waas as smooth as a blether o same. He leeved wuv his niece Esther iv a weeny cottage wi yan or twee rowms. T'black thack ont cottage hed bin made o'ling whilk hed strukken reeat i pleeaces an waas varra bonny when t'ling waas i floower. At nowrth end ud hoose wir a few trees an busses te brik t'wind when it cam oot o that airt; theer wir birk, an rowan, an aller trees; wuv heck-berry, an saff, an burtree busses. At backside waas a bit Intack whilk sarrowed for a tattie an cabbage garth; iv yan corner ud Intack stood t'peat mow. Id front theer waas a floower garden wuv a steam dyke 'roond it; inside t'dyke sides wir cuvered wi steeany rag an weeny blether ferrens; ont dyke top waas a gay lot uv queen's cushion, an just ower t'dyke wir lots uv bumlerkites. T'garden waas full ôhmacks uv wild floowers at hed teean reeat, theer wir godfathers and godmothers, Cain and Abel, an winnal shtree, alaang wuv an grozer an barry busses cuvered wi moss. If yer cudae leukt inside t'aad chap's hoos ye wad hev seen t'lowe ud peat fire wi t'aad fashioned fire-pleeace an chimla piece. At yan side atween t'fire-pleeace an t'chimla jamb waas a pleeace te haad t'peats; abeean t'fire waas t'rannel bauk, wih t'reckin creak an t'keeal pot hingin ont creak. T'corner cubbord an t'dresser wir t'pewter wir beeath made uv yak; id corner cubbord Esther kep t'seeagar, saut, an same, and ont dresser wir t'pewter plates an mugs. Chimla piece waas varra hee, an hed sum curus macks o'things whilk t'aad chap hed browt frae forren parts. Hingin ont wôh waas a Scotch clay-more, whilk hed bin teean frae yan ud Tynedale reeavers. A lucky steean hung wuv a string frae yan ud bauks, an a, bit uv rowan tree hung frae a nail just ower t'dooer inside. T'brass feeaced clock id yak case stood ageean t'wôh fernenst t'chimla piece; t'aad man said at it waas wheyles rare company at neet when t'canary an ôh else wir wheyte. Twee other things pleased him weel te hear, an thoore wir t'creckits chirpin ont hearth an t'swallows chirmin id chimla, top. T'hoos wôhs wir varra thick, inside t'windae sill made. A, gud seat whaur t'aad chap used te wheyles set an watch. T'lads wi their skees an powls as thae com skein doon t'fell side ont snow. This, uv course, waas id winter time when it wazzent blastin an stourin ower mickle. When t'lads made t'kirsmas beeanfire wi t'stowen tar barrels, t'aad man wad treat 'em tiv thrumety an spiced leaf; an at t'midsummer weeaks, when thae made t'midsummer beeanfire, he gave them ôh sum brass, for he liked te keep up ôh t'aad customs. When it waas varra caad or rawkey, or if it waas floud or bruckle weather, t'aad man wad set id neeak smeeakin his pipe an hevin a pross wuv Esther, or wi sum nibor body at wheyles dropped in te hev a smeeak. When it waas lowen weather iv summer time, he sat ont benk outside an watched t'bees as thae flew in an oot t'hives, varra thrang fillin t'honeykeeam wi t'ling honey. Wheyle he wad gan up t'fell amaang t'moss brocks an becken doon t'bonnney mooargam; he becked them doon bi makkin a noise wuv his nooase or blawin thro a clay pipe heed; when they heard t'noise t'burds wad cum floppin aboot an gie a girt goller afoor they settled doon. He yance hed a Messet bud it hed getten bellond an hed torfled. Uv a Sunday he wad git donned iv his best duds uv heeam spun woollen clleath, an if he waas gaily fresh wad gan doon t'lonnin an alaang t'rooad tud Scotch Kirk at Arsop. When he gat wankle an walked ower cramly te gan tiv Arsop, for he waas mair ar eighty, he wad sit id airm chair wi t'aad Bible ont teeable afoor him. It allus oppened uv itsell id seeam pleeace, whaur it tells aboot t'raisin Lazarus. T'aad chap used te read this ower an ower ageean. Yan Sunday he waas readin it, an summat made him gie ower an tak off his horn spectacles; a bit etfer he leaned his heed uv his neef an fell intiv a sooart uv dreeam uv his past life. T'dreeam began summat like this: - He heeard hissell sayin "Gud bye, lass, keep thi heart up, aa's seean be back;" an she said "oh, Jack, ah's happen see thee nivver ne mair." "Whist hinney, " he said, "dunno tolk like that, aa's sewer te cum back wuv a lot uv brass an then we'll git wed." "Oh Jock," she said "thoo's gannin intiv a fremd country an aa knaa thoo'll feel unkard cos thoo's sae dench an huly an thoo'll be far frae heeam wi neebody te hain ther." This waas part ud aad chap's dreeam; he waas a gay few yeears away i forren parts, bud he follerd on id dreeamfaster than t'swifts on wing til he seed hissell comin back. He'd hard nowt frae Wardle for monny yeears bud hevin getten te be middlin yabbel, he'd cum back wivoot lettin wit; he tuk t'coach tiv Auckland whaur he stopt owerneet an left his kist te cum wi t'carrier; id mornin he set off afoot for Wardle, for he waas a girt strappin chap an thowt nowt uv walkin a few miles. When he gat tiv Wissengam he went intiv yan ud Inns an ass'd t'lonlady if he cud hev owt te eat. She waas thrang wi t'kern jaupin cream inte butter. She sed wad he like a few broth? But he sed he wad rayther hev sum cheese an breed an sum mool'd yal. She sed aa'v sum sossengers id yuvvin if thae errent kizzened, thoo can hev sum o'them te thi mool'd yal. Jock noatished at floor hed been fresh strawed wi reshes an theer wir sum chaps settin drinkin ont laangsettie talkin aboot bad times; yan gleg-ee'd dour leukin chap sed he wished at war wad brik out, sae as leed might rise iv price. As seean as Jock hed finished his sossengers he set off ageean, an as he went alang t'rooad he saw a woman fetch a barn seck a skelp ont lug, an she sed "theer, thoo sackless taistril, tak that, an if ivver aw catch ther lakin wih t'reshleets ageean aa'll gie ther sike a yarkin an leatherin as'll mak ther reeam an yool for a fortneth, thoo girt gollerin bowdikite." A bit further on Jock met sum carrier galloways leeaden wi t'leed yeure frae t'greeave, an efter he'd gaen thro Stanhop an cum te whaur t'rooad cums down frae Reeakhop he met sum Scotch drovers wuv a girt lot uv sheep an kylies; thae wir on countin t'sheep, Jock heerd em sayin, "Hiner, Piner, Pairer, Pepperer, Pen" an on up te twenty when thae started ageean; Jock lissens tiv 'em an efter thae'd deean he sed we dunno count like that iv Wardle, we say "Yan, Tean, Tether, Mether, Pip" &c. Yan ud drovers sed he'd heerd that way afoor bud "tuther waas t'way they coonted i his pairt". Jock left t'drovers an just as he gat tiv Howl John it com on a heavy thunder speeat, an when he gat tiv Eastyitt he waas dreepin weet, so he went intid Inn at Eastyitt to dry hissell. Jock assed for a pint uv stowrie; t'da'am waas thrang wi t'spinnin wheel bud she seean com an warm'd t'yal an mixed t'haver-meal wi t'yal te mak t'stowrie, wheyl t'lonlort gae t'fire a podge wi t'pore an maade a bleeze for Jock te dry hissell. Theer waas sum company set id kitchen; twee wir on cowpin kye; yan chap waas tellin how he'd bin flay'd biv Dunter Boggle whilk hed maade his hair staand uv end that mickle at he nivver cud shed it syne. He sed at Sunnerlan Kleeaf waas full o boggles, he waas arf te gan that way at neet efter his darg. Tuther neet he'd bin hevin a few glasses wi his marra an as he went etefter throo t'kleeaf he waas sair bothert wi t'boggles, thae glowered at him til he waas fair whitherin an dotherin, an when he gat intid boddum ud slack whaur t'burn waas, yan ud boggles chipt him up wi a girt steean an he fell flat ont grund, he wad as tite hev been onnywhaur as theer, when he gat up he started te run heeam as fast as he cud, bud t'boggle kep givin him a ding ôh t'way first uv yan side an then on tuther. Yan aad farmer ses, "Ye'v often heerd ud fairy folk an fairy holes bud aa'lk tell yer summat aw seed a gay few yeears syne. It waas id gray gloamin as aw waas gannin heeam frae a funeral. Aw hed te gan ower Shittlehope Burn just abeean t'Fairy Holes, sum côh it Linkirk Cave. When aw gat tud burn aw heerd a noise like plish plash, plish plash, as if monny a scooar little feet wir paddlin id burn, then ah heerd a nicker as if sumbody waas laffin, aw leukt up an catched a glif uv a little wee chap staandin ont bank side, he waas aal donned iv green an hed laang yaller hair; when aw leukt up at him he set up a girt yool an ah cud feel mi heart gan pit-a-pat and my hair gan as stiff as brussels ud hurcheon, but he seean stopped yoolin an sterted liltin sum sooart o tune at seeamed te mix itsell wi t'noise ud wimplin burn; when he gav ower singin he jamp on a wee creamy cullered horse ôh saddled an bridled, wi a lot uv weeny bells hangin aboot t'harness, aw waas fain te see him ride off wi a girt jaupin an jinglin uv bells. Ah thowt ah's best be gannen, se ah off heeam as fast as ah cud; as ah went ah waas mortal flayed ah sud walk across yan ud fairy rings an get kessen intiv a sleep an be hugged off te faerie lond. When aw gat tud onsteed, aw just leukt intud byer te see if ôh waas reet, an theer waas t'little wee green chap staandin glowerin at heed ud cow beease. Aw gav a girt skrike an a jump an ran intud hoos. Oor Mally ses, "Whaat's t'matter noo?" Aw ses, "Aa'v seen yan o them faerie chaps"; an then she ses, "How monny glasses hed te etefter t'funeral, thoo can hardlins staand; thoo'd best git them Sunday claes doffed an gan thi ways te bed." Ah knaa'd at it nee use threepin wi Mally when she'd getten owt intiv her heed, sae aw sed nee mair. Bud aw nivver seed owt ud sooart nobbut that yance." Bi this time it waas lowen weather an Jock waas dry so he set off ageean. When he gav tiv Westyitt he saw t'barns lakin ont brigstuns an sum lads playin at "Heddy-me-Blindy," thae'd hed a Barrin Oot an maade t'Maisther gie them halliday that efterneun. Yan bit lass waas whingin an blutherin, sae Jock ses, "Whaat's te greetin at mi lass?" she sed "Oor Esther is gannin tiv a Tom Trot Neet an she winnut let me gan wuv her!" Jock ses "Theer's sum brass an thoo can mak sum Tom Trot fer thysell; theer noo, wipe thi feeace wi thi brat an gie ower bealin an roarin." Jock went intiv yan shop te git a leather whang, an as he waas gannin oot he heerd t'woman say tiv a nibor, "Whee's that gannin Up Bye? Does neebody ken whee he is? It's a queer thing for a shtranger body te be gannin Up Bye an neebody ken whee he is; aw think, onnyhoo, at his laang beeard waants doddin." Theer waas a cockfight or summat ud sooart gannin on id Pingle bud Jock stept alaang just givin a leuk at t'ruins ud aad Cassel as he went ower t'brigg. As he gat tiv Dathrey he met sum greeavers wi their wallets full uv their week's bait, an t'sean, maade him feel he'd getten heeam ageean. When he gat tiv St Jone's Chapel he went intud Inn Parlour an assed fer a glass o yal. Theer wez a gay bit stur id hoos, theer hed bin a weddin an twenty or thirty couples wir hevin a neet on't. Sum wir dancin, sum wir yammerin on aboot t'bargens, sum wir singin - whaat a din thae dreav. As Jock lissened, yan uv em sang, "There's no joy can compare, To the hunting the hare, In the morning, in the morning, Being fine and pleasant weather. With the horses and the hounds, We will sport upon the grounds, Sing tantara, hurrah, and tantara; Brave boys we will follow." Efter he'd lissened a bit, Jock assed for t'lonlort whee waas an aad frind uv his. T'lonlort com in an waas reet glad te see Jock ageean, he sed "Wult te nut cum alaang an mak a neet on't wuv us? How-way Jock!" Bud Jock duddent care aboot onny dancin, he waas thinkin ' summat else, an assed t'lonlort aboot his lass at he'd left at Chapel, an when t'lanlort telt him at she waas laade id Chapel church-garth, Jock waas sair blonked an assed whauraboot she waas laade; he seean maade his way tud church-garth whaur he stud aside t'graave for a laang, laang time, an nivver spak, nivver a word; bud at last he leukt up at graavesteean an when he saw her naame id meeanleet he brast oot o greetin. Aal this waas part ud aud chap's dreeam as he waas set id airm chair wuv his heed leanin uv his neef; bud as he com to this part uv his dhreem yer cud see at he waas greetin iv his sleep, fer tears ran doom his chafts an dropt ontud beeak; just then Esther com in te graithe his tea an when it waas fettled, she sed, "Deah, bliss us folk, Jock's hevin a rare sleep, ah mun weeaken him up." She then rattled t'pore onerd hearthsteean an sed, "Cum Jock, it's teatime, besides thoo knaws this is Kirsmas Eben an ah mun be hevin t'keeal pot on wid thrumety." Jock rubbed his een an leukt aboot, an sed, "Why lass ah've bin dhreemin aboot t'aud times - an se it's Kirsmas Eben ageean, t'lads will be on makken t'Kirsmas beean-fire an thoo mun hev t'cheese an spiced leeaf an thrumety ready for em." "Ôh reet," she sed, "an theer's sum ud nibors comin in te hev a crack wi ther; theer's Sally's Jone, and Bessie's Cuddy, an Aunt Hannah's Jonathan, and Jacob's Jack an Joney's Joss's Jack's John Joseph, an sum mair besides; an then theer'l be t'singers an t'lads as weel sae thoo'll hev a gay bit company te neet; aa'll put t'yull clog on se as it may git weel haad for it's a gay big un" Efter Jock hed getten his tea he wandered tud dooer an leukt oot, theer waas just a grimin o snow, bud t'wind waas risin an mair snow waas beginnin te faa. Jock ses, "Thae mun be weel hapt up at's oot te neet, its gannin to be a stourie meet." Efter he'd let his pipe an waas sat smeeakin id meeak, he ses tiv Esther, "Noo Esther, thoo mun put t'cheese an spiced leeaf ont teeable an we'll hev som mool'd yal gitten ready an them at dissent like thrumety can hev mool'd yal." A bit etefter Esther ses "Why, theer's Sally's Jone an Aunt Hannah's Jonathan at dooer, aaken their tongue;" she oppens t'dooer an ses, "Cum in; mi saang, how its stourin!" Thae shak't snow off their clogs and beeath sing oot, "Weel Jock, what fettle?" "Oh aa's varra weel, thenk yer," Jock ses, "Are ye gaily fresh?" "Gaily, thenk yer," say thae. An seean sum mair draw up, an thae hear t'singers ootside, an then t'singers cum in, an then t'lads frae t'beeanfire they cum in; an t'singers an t'lads git their spiced leeaf an cheese an thrumety an off ageean; an ôh t'rest stay an pass a pleasant neet wi Jock, crouse an canny, till Kirsmas mornin dawns an thae ôh gan plowderin heeamthro the stourin snow. An sae thae spend the social hour Wi pross, an pipe, an bleezin fire, An if ootside the storm winds stour, Thae pile the cats an peats the higher. An noo the carol voices soond Clear borne alang the frosty air, An bowls uv thrumety gan 'roond, O whilk the singers tak thir share. "A merry Kirsmas, yan an ôh," Ses Jock; aud memories ower him steal, He hears loved voices gently côh, An whisper "ôh will seen be weel" Thae podge the fire, the lowe burns breet, An ruds each feeace wi glory, The singers carol loud an sweet, The gud aad Kirsmas story. The Keeal Pot hings upo' the creeak, The Yull Clog sings the peats amaang; The lads cum in te teeaste the keeak, The meet wears on wih teeal an saang. Thae pross uv frinds, an pigs, an kye, The price uv leed, an bargens teean; Thae pross until thi'r varra dry, Bud t'yal seean starts 'em off ageean. An wheyles thae pross uv Border frays, Uv robber bands, an Reeakup ryde; An wheyles uv boggles, an uv fays At haunt each moor an green hiliside. At last it's time te say "Good neet," An heeamward gan their way, The gud aad Kirsmas story. The Keeal Pot hings upo' the creeak, The Yull Clog sings the peats amaang; The lads cum in te teeaste the keeak, The meet wears on wi teeal an saang. Thae pross uv frinds, an pigs, an kye, The price uv leed, an bargens teean; Thae pross until thi'r varra dry, Bud t'yal seean starts em off ageean. An wheyles thae pross uv Border frays, Uv robber bands, an Reeakup ryde; An wheyles uv boggles, an uv fays At haunt each moor an green hiliside. At last it's time te say "Good neet," An heeamward gan their way,